Thursday, May 23, 2013

Even in Dreams We Change...

Sometimes I can't tell if I am in touch with reality... I've been having lots of dreams lately that are hitting at the heart of my troubles.

Womp womp wooooomp! Whatever, I like it.

Many have had the same recurring theme, with guest appearances from the same person.  I've been having lots of dreams that I am making peace and getting closure with someone I am at odds with, and when I wake up I feel better.

Who knows what the dream could mean. Many times, dreams are multivalent.

I think dreams can either be
1) premonitions
2) ways for your subconscious to sort things out
3) wish fulfillment or
4) dreams can also just be dreams and mean nothing.

Sometimes people in dreams don't represent the people themselves but an aspect of yourself that they remind you of.

In my dreams, even though I know there is an underlying discord, we are talking very happily. I say what I feel but in a safe environment. I always get the sense that we've crossed a very great divide and come to understand each other. And when I wake up, even though I know that the turning point conversation didn't truly happen, it still makes me feel better.

But I wonder if it's creating a distorted view? Because really, this person in particular hurt me. I think that's just how it goes though... things like closure and forgiveness, they are more for you than the other person most of the time anyways. I think this is just my mind's way of coming to peace with it. Because in life we won't always get that closure, so we have to make it for ourselves so we can move forward on our own.

Just days ago this great post showed up in my feed:

"Don’t wait for someone who hurt you to make it up to you; this kind of thinking only keeps your old wounds from healing.  Waiting for them to change is not the answer.  You have no control over them, and they may never change.

Inner peace is found by changing your thinking, not the people who hurt you.  And you change your thinking for yourself, for your joy, your peace of mind, your own understanding, and your bright future that has nothing to do with this person or what they did to you.

So forgive those who have hurt you in the past, and even more importantly, forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you.  Then smile like you've never cried, re-open your heart and mind like you've never been hurt, and live the rest of your life like you’re running out of time."

It's funny how sometimes things show up and are just the right amount of relevant to be of use, but still borderline a little creepy.

At any rate... I decided that I'm glad I made peace with this person in my dream. And even though I have very limited contact with this person now, I do still view our time very fondly. People come and go from our lives, have a positive impact on you, but for some reason things change. I'm thankful our paths crossed and that we got the chance to experience something wonderful while it lasted. Sometimes things end but it doesn't make them less amazing. So appreciate what you have now, and smile about the memories. Not everything ends though -- some people will come into your life and will stay for a lifetime. Treasure that. :)

I recently found a song that is on hardcore repeat for me. It's beautiful and captured just the sense of being able to keep something always even when that isn't truly the case. That no matter how much time passes, how much we grow and change, there is something in all of us that wants to keep something pristine and unchanging.

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