Tuesday, May 28, 2013

An Ixnay on the Wishing for More Wishes

Or unofficially -- Journey of 1,000 Cranes (part five)

It only takes a couple minutes to fold each crane, yet the last few I just haven't been able to fold. 

I've been asked if I am delaying it because I am not ready for the project to end and am frozen. I'm not; I'm actually quite excited. But I have found that lately each time I sat down to fold them, I just didn't have the heart to do it. I guess you could call it a funk, but it really only pertained to this. I've been doing lots of fun things that have really inspired me, spending lots of time with awesome friends and having lots of quiet time for myself.

This has been a very happy project for me -- it may have originally been born out of a darker place, but I've been able to grow it and transform it into something very positive for myself.

I've held on to the last origami paper for days now... and on it I wrote "I wish" -- I figured that was a placeholder until I figured out my big plans on what I would finish that sentence with.

I actually over-nerded this a little... I thought about what kind of conversation I would have with a genie if they existed. He would probably get really annoyed with me because I wouldn't use my wishes right away, I think I'd just ask him things all day. How many times has the genie been summoned? Is he a slave to the lamp as punishment for something? Do all genies long to be freed, like in Aladdin? In pie chart format, tell me what most people wish for. How has it turned out for them? Maybe the people who asked for more money got it, but then people plotted to have them offed for the inheritance. How terrible.

Whether or not a wish would even come true, I still think about the repercussions of asking for certain things. It'd be silly to wish for material things, things that are within my ability to obtain if I really wanted them. (3DS w/Animal Crossing in June, woop woop) Even other temporal things like fame, fortune, beauty... wouldn't they all come with a different price to pay? I've also thought about what if you for wished for something but never got it? Would you feel cheated or disappointed? (You shouldn't) Or wished for something and got it, but then you realized it wasn't what you really wanted?

I watched a really sweet movie over the weekend. It's a Japanese film called I Wish, and it's about two young brothers who live separated in different cities and dream of reuniting. When one learns that a new bullet train line will soon open, linking the two towns, he starts to believe that a miracle will take place the moment these new trains first pass each other at top speed. So he and his brother, with their friends, set out on a journey, each hoping to witness a miracle that will improve their difficult lives.

It was a really endearing coming of age story. In it you see the wishes that the kids made -- some wishes evolved into something else as the movie progressed, some wished for things that were within their ability, some that were ungrantable... and everyone kind of coming to terms with what they were asking for.

The culmination of everyone's hopes and dreams being expressed on this grand adventure was really touching.

It's funny though... I thought I knew exactly what I was going to wish for long ago. My wish would have been for a lifetime of happiness. But like anything in life, sometimes you think you know exactly what you're going to do with something and then you'll find that things take a different turn. Because as I looked at my other current projects -- the bedroom floor with pictures of the people I care about ready to be collaged, the craft room that looks like Hobby Lobby threw up in it from all the thank you cards I made for the countless folks who have touched my life (which still won't be ready for a bit), ingredients for the meal I wanted to make with my friends... it dawned on me. Pardon the cheesiness, but I am absolutely surrounded by happiness. Sure, tough/sad times will happen, but that's ok. It's inevitable and necessary. And sometimes really great things are born out of conflict. We need the contrast every now and again to remind us to really cherish the times that are good. So I didn't need to wish for happiness; that's already happening. 

I have ONE left still. Still waiting to find a time to party it up with everyone. Maybe I'll figure it out by then.  :)

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Even in Dreams We Change...

Sometimes I can't tell if I am in touch with reality... I've been having lots of dreams lately that are hitting at the heart of my troubles.

Womp womp wooooomp! Whatever, I like it.

Many have had the same recurring theme, with guest appearances from the same person.  I've been having lots of dreams that I am making peace and getting closure with someone I am at odds with, and when I wake up I feel better.

Who knows what the dream could mean. Many times, dreams are multivalent.

I think dreams can either be
1) premonitions
2) ways for your subconscious to sort things out
3) wish fulfillment or
4) dreams can also just be dreams and mean nothing.

Sometimes people in dreams don't represent the people themselves but an aspect of yourself that they remind you of.

In my dreams, even though I know there is an underlying discord, we are talking very happily. I say what I feel but in a safe environment. I always get the sense that we've crossed a very great divide and come to understand each other. And when I wake up, even though I know that the turning point conversation didn't truly happen, it still makes me feel better.

But I wonder if it's creating a distorted view? Because really, this person in particular hurt me. I think that's just how it goes though... things like closure and forgiveness, they are more for you than the other person most of the time anyways. I think this is just my mind's way of coming to peace with it. Because in life we won't always get that closure, so we have to make it for ourselves so we can move forward on our own.

Just days ago this great post showed up in my feed:

"Don’t wait for someone who hurt you to make it up to you; this kind of thinking only keeps your old wounds from healing.  Waiting for them to change is not the answer.  You have no control over them, and they may never change.

Inner peace is found by changing your thinking, not the people who hurt you.  And you change your thinking for yourself, for your joy, your peace of mind, your own understanding, and your bright future that has nothing to do with this person or what they did to you.

So forgive those who have hurt you in the past, and even more importantly, forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you.  Then smile like you've never cried, re-open your heart and mind like you've never been hurt, and live the rest of your life like you’re running out of time."

It's funny how sometimes things show up and are just the right amount of relevant to be of use, but still borderline a little creepy.

At any rate... I decided that I'm glad I made peace with this person in my dream. And even though I have very limited contact with this person now, I do still view our time very fondly. People come and go from our lives, have a positive impact on you, but for some reason things change. I'm thankful our paths crossed and that we got the chance to experience something wonderful while it lasted. Sometimes things end but it doesn't make them less amazing. So appreciate what you have now, and smile about the memories. Not everything ends though -- some people will come into your life and will stay for a lifetime. Treasure that. :)

I recently found a song that is on hardcore repeat for me. It's beautiful and captured just the sense of being able to keep something always even when that isn't truly the case. That no matter how much time passes, how much we grow and change, there is something in all of us that wants to keep something pristine and unchanging.

Friday, May 10, 2013

StampingChallenges -- SC19

Here is my latest sketch challenge for Stamping Challenges  (SC19 -- May 10, 2013).  

Each week StampingChallenges.com create a sketch for you to try, and the challenge is for you to interpret it the way you see those elements used -- make substitutions with your creativity!

It's open to everyone, so start stamping with us today.

Here was the sketch to work from:

Here's what I did:

Want to get the materials to make a card similar to this? Visit my store:

For this card I used

Crumb Cake (base)
Whisper White

Lovely Lavender (Retired)
Tea Time (DSP; Retired)


Wonderful Mother

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Journey of 1,000 Cranes (part four)

Ok, so it's been a bit since my last crane post (part three), so here's an update on the progression of the project.

I was in the green part of the color spectrum just a couple of weeks ago

Now I'm in the purples -- this is 850 strung up

Same 850, but different angle
Still not done, but SOOOOO close. There are only 6 strands to hang up. And I still haven't folded all 1,000 since I am saving it for the last thing. Everyone's been really great about it, and I'm so happy with what I have accomplished so far, and for what is to come. I can't wait to finish and celebrate with the people I care about!

Which kind of reminds me... something strange happened recently. I encountered someone who was really, just outright rude. I have to say, it was weird -- it was a jarring feeling because I haven't really faced something like that in a really long time. That's not to say people haven't been obnoxious to me before or that I live in this magical bubble where everyone hangs out with unicorns all day. (Though I wish it everyday...) but someone I've never met before just being a turd was just not the norm for me. I didn't take it too personally, based on the other drivel exiting this person's mouth I determined that's probably how this person is to everyone and they probably think they are sassy/funny. For me, it was like a moment of "I guess some people don't move beyond high school."

It's ok though. Even though it was rude, I was like "Meh. I don't have to deal with this person." And, this is going to sound funny... it actually made me really happy. Here's why -- the fact that it was a little shocking means that I've been surrounded by really awesome people who don't treat me like that. I have really good friends who are considerate, respectful and kind. It's something to be really grateful for.

I like being in this world of grownups. And sure, sometimes we can still have our immature moments, but the disrespectful moments are few and far between. I've ranted about my friends before in a previous post, but I'll say it again; I'm lucky and thankful. :)

 It is very liberating being able to surround ourselves with the people we want to be around.